Only 22 Days to go!

22 days until what my fab-funseekers? Why the end of the world of course which is happening this month or so Before It’s News would have you believe.

In their breathless headline ” 1 Weird Tip for Getting Ripped Fast!” …. Oh, not that headline! This one!

“Urgent Warning-the Greatest Nightmare Ever Begins September 2015! Major Biblical-Prophetic Event Coincides With the Ending Date of Jade Helm-You Will Be Left Speechless! (Eye Opening, Stunning Videos)”

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Wow, that’s a headline! I need to talk to my trusty staff of trained Orangutans about proper headline formatting and content! With my luck they will flee the Odd Empire and end up at the Before It’s News webpage (not that anyone would notice.)

But that’s not important right  now. What is important is the PROOF that the world is going to end on Septmber 25th. What proof you might ask? Well look at all of these YouTube videos!

Here’s one. TWO cows with the number 7 on their forehead were born in Texas.  That TWO COWS – TWO with the number 7!!!!!
Hold the phone there partner! That’s an Arabic number 7! Surly God would paint the Jewish seven on the forehead of a cow! That would make the number 4 on the cow’s foreheads. Or maybe six, it’s kind of hard to tell with Hebrew numbers.

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But here’s more “proof.”

“There is no denying that global events just keep getting stranger by the day…especially in the United States of America, where the many voices of the people once shouted, “Let freedom ring!” but now shout, “We don’t care if we lose our freedom, we’re too busy and dumbed down to worry about it!”  Or better, “We do not believe anything is going on. It’s all nonsense!”  

 

 

 

IT movie cover

Wait what?What does that have to do with anything. Then again, I suppose it’s of major importance that “Unwashed-Joe” in the USA care about IT, whatever “IT” might be!

They go on…

The American people have been so pampered and spoiled in this life that they are clueless when it comes to true suffering. So what will they do when the pacifier is literally yanked from their mouths and their diaper supply is suddenly cut off? They will do what any spoiled rotten baby does in a time of crisis—they will throw a temper tantrum and destroy everything around them. Literally, all hell will break loose!

Well he has a point there. The US hasn’t had a war on it’s own soil since that one nobody believes really happened back in the 1860s.Battlle-of-Chickamauga-Hero-H

All over the internet are at least a dozen different opinions, theories, and ideas about what Jade Helm really is, and why the Walmart stores are closing at the same time.

What and what? Jade Helm and Walmart stores closing AT THE SAME TIME??? That CAN’T be a coincidence. Where the’s smoke there’s fire! Hey, there are a lot of fires burning in the West US. That HAS to have something to do with all of this. What I have no idea, but it must be important!

Before I go further, I want to state my opinion on this entire ordeal. I whole heartedly (sic) believe that if indeed there is more to this than meets the eye, and I truly feel there is, that it has everything to do with a major economic collapse that will arrive in September at the end of the seven year Shemitah cycle. The Shemitah cycle, interestingly enough, ends September 13, 2015. Coincidentally, the Jade Helm exercises offically (sic) ends September 15, 2015, only two days later, according to their official press release (excerpt): 

What? The Shemitah cycle? What in the world could that be?

“The sabbath year (shmita Hebrew: ??????, literally “release”) also called the sabbatical year or sheviit (Hebrew: ???????, literally “seventh”) is the seventh year of the seven-year agricultural cycle mandated by the Torah for the Land of Israel,[1] and still observed in contemporary Judaism.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shmita

Wow! That’t pretty tough to argue with. Since the “seventh” year takes place once every seven years (get-it? Sabbath/seventh!) Jade Helm ended only days later than the Shemitah new year and ONE THE SAME YEAR!!!! There’s like a one in seven chance of that happening! How could anyone doubt this story now!

—In 1987, a solar eclipse took place Sept. 23 – again the end of a “Shemitah” year. Less than 30 days later came “Black Monday” the greatest percentage crash in Wall Street history.

Well those are just amazing coincidences!

So there you have it. Proof positive that the end of Earth is going to happen on September 25th. I’ve got to get my keen Intergalactic cruiser waxed and prepped for the journey home. You funseekers? You probably better do whatever you need to!

 

 

NASA: There is No Asteroid Threatening Earth

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via http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.php?feature=4692

“Numerous recent blogs and web postings are erroneously claiming that an asteroid will impact Earth, sometime between Sept. 15 and 28, 2015. On one of those dates, as rumors go, there will be an impact — “evidently” near Puerto Rico — causing wanton destruction to the Atlantic and Gulf coasts of the United States and Mexico, as well as Central and South America.

That’s the rumor that has gone viral — now here are the facts.”

(Oh yeah right! Who would trust NASA with facts? Not unless it was pictures of alien Martian artifacts on Mars. That’s the ONLY factual stuff that NASA is factual about. Everyone know that!)  

There is no scientific basis — not one shred of evidence — that an asteroid or any other celestial object will impact Earth on those dates,” said Paul Chodas, manager of NASA’s Near-Earth Object office at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California.

In fact, NASA’s Near-Earth Object Observations Program says there have been no asteroids or comets observed that would impact Earth anytime in the foreseeable future. All known Potentially Hazardous Asteroids have less than a 0.01% chance of impacting Earth in the next 100 years.

The Near-Earth Object office at JPL is a key group involved with the international collaboration of astronomers and scientists who keep watch on the sky with their telescopes, looking for asteroids that could do harm to our planet and predicting their paths through space for the foreseeable future. If there were any observations on anything headed our way, Chodas and his colleagues would know about it.

“If there were any object large enough to do that type of destruction in September, we would have seen something of it by now,” he stated.

Another thing Chodas and his team do know — this isn’t the first time a wild, unsubstantiated claim of a celestial object about to impact Earth has been made, and unfortunately, it probably won’t be the last. It seems to be a perennial favorite of the World Wide Web.

In 2011 there were rumors about the so-called “doomsday” comet Elenin, which never posed any danger of harming Earth and broke up into a stream of small debris out in space. Then there were Internet assertions surrounding the end of the Mayan calendar on Dec. 21, 2012, insisting the world would end with a large asteroid impact. And just this year, asteroids 2004 BL86 and 2014 YB35 were said to be on dangerous near-Earth trajectories, but their flybys of our planet in January and March went without incident — just as NASA said they would.

“Again, there is no existing evidence that an asteroid or any other celestial object is on a trajectory that will impact Earth,” said Chodas. “In fact, not a single one of the known objects has any credible chance of hitting our planet over the next century.”

NASA detects, tracks and characterizes asteroids and comets passing 30 million miles of Earth using both ground- and space-based telescopes. The Near-Earth Object Observations Program, commonly called “Spaceguard,” discovers these objects, characterizes the physical nature of a subset of them, and predicts their paths to determine if any could be potentially hazardous to our planet. There are no known credible impact threats to date — only the continuous and harmless infall of meteoroids, tiny asteroids that burn up in the atmosphere.

JPL hosts the office for Near-Earth Object orbit analysis for NASA’s Near Earth Object Observations Program of the Science Mission Directorate in Washington. JPL is a division of the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena.

More information about asteroids and near-Earth objects is at:

http://neo.jpl.nasa.gov

http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/asteroidwatch ,

and on Twitter: @asteroidwatch

Media Contact

DC Agle 818-393-9011
Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Pasadena, Calif.
agle@jpl.nasa.gov

2015-272

 

 

 

The End is Nigh (again!)

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And here we go Funseekers! I decided to come out of hiding or wherever I was doing  – why? Because the END OF THE WORLD is only one month away! And I intend to be there when it happens! It didn’t happen last time, or the time before that or the time before that or the …. you get the idea! But this time; it’s going to happen! Why you might ask?

How about I tell you!

It is all laid out here on Global Rumblings. “Many dire predictions from different sources around this date!” screams the headline.

Like the fact that there are going to FOUR “blood-moon” eclipses between 2014 and 2015. That pretty solid, I mean how many eclipses of the Earth’s moon would normally take place? Around two a year so FOUR in two years must be significant! This is (in some way) going to cause a devastating asteroid to plunge into the atmosphere. If only you Funseekers could see things they way I do (Or they do. I actually have no idea what they are going on about.)

But wait! There is SO MUCH MORE!

“Haggai 2:10 On the twenty-fourth day of the ninth month, in the second year of Darius, the word of the Lord came to the prophet Haggai: 24th of the 9th month was “

‘Tell Zerubbabel governor of Judah that I am going to shake the heavens and the earth. I will overturn royal thrones and shatter the power of the foreign kingdoms. I will overthrow chariots and their drivers; horses and their riders will fall, each by the sword of his brother. “

Wow! That’s more than a coincidence! There is going to be a 24th day of the 9th month THIS VERY YEAR! We better start buying gold and stashing MREs!

But look at this! “Pope Francis To Address United Nations On September 25, 2015

That can’t be a coincidence!

And this from Snopes; 
Will a planet-changing comet cause “climate chaos” on Earth between September 15-28, 2015?
Claim:   A planet-changing comet will cause “climate chaos” on Earth between September 15-28, 2015. = FALSE

Read more at http://m.snopes.com/2015/06/23/comet-september-2015/#I3ia36ovM1DlSPSR.99

Oh wait – that’s Snopes. Everyone knows Snopes.com is full of shit!

There you have it Funseekers. The world is going to end in about a month and unlike all the other times; this one is for real or – something like that.


Stay tuned for updates as they happen – for as long as I stay interested (which might not be very long.)

Roswell Sliders

 

“I never did it for money,
I knew I was going to lose cash even before started the organisation of the event, but I didn’t care,”
– Jaime Maussan

If you are like me you haven’t been counting the days. You really haven’t been paying much attention! But it’s ” “the event that will change the history of UFO research.”

I believe it did! Not for the better unless one is a skeptic.

Well the slides themselves are – not very interesting (other than in a historical context.) . They consist of the travel photos of  Bernerd and Hilda Ray. A couple who did some extensive travel during the 1940s and took trip photos. Two of the pics are supposedly “unlike any of the others” (except that they are of museum displays – LIKE some of the others.)

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(
Photo via The Mirror UK.)

As a matter of (alleged) fact, they seem to be photos of a child taken from the Mesa Verde site. 

So what was the objective of the folks who put on the Roswell Slides spectacle? $20 for rights to see the stream. $350 to attend the spine-tingeing event in person.

The official Roswell Slides webpage.

Well some good has come out of all this. Many people have attested that this non-event has made them more skeptical. If there is one thing that UFO research needs is more skeptics! Thanks to the Roswell Slides it looks like this may have happened.

More info can be found at ….

The Inquisitr
The Mirror
Blackvault
The Roswell Slides Research Group.

The Children of Meepthorp,

Well Funseekers. HBO finally went and did it. They finally released Going Clear, the tell-all , but no kisses tribute to one of my favorite happy-fun cults.

And Scientology could not be happier! Urr…..- could not be happy?

The Way to happyness

In case you haven’t heard the news,  author Lawrence Wright wrote the book on  the whole Scientology mess. It’s very readable, I strongly recommend it. Oddly enough the book is very genial in dealing with Scientology. It’s not a complete hash-job.  Wright points out that movements like this have been around for a long time and cater to natural desires that most humans have.  (Like making lots of money by swindling people, megalomania and sadism but let’s not stray from the topic too much!)

The HBO documentary “Going Clear” , derided as “pure fiction” By Scientology, is less easy on the cult itself and very hard on some of it’s stars. Tom Cruse and John Travolta to name a couple The film  features testimonies from ex Scientology stars (not ex stars, just celebrates that broke from Scientology and discovered they did not immediately burst into flame.)

I found the HBO film, interesting. Certainly better than Baghdad ER. It’s a very slick- professional production and here I believe it has the most value. Most humans think Scientology is just a kooky religion. A religion of famous people. Celebrities can be a bit  strange so this is not too unusual. But Scientology uses celebrities as recruitment tools, L. Ron Hubbard laid this process out in great detail, much like how he instructs his flock on the correct way to clean an automobile. (You MUST use a goose-feather duster, I’m not kidding!)

Well the HBO film IS derided as pure fiction by Scientology. The part of people bursting into flame after leaving the organisation? Not so much.

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Of course one of the stars of Going Clear is John Travolta, taking a break from flying his DC8 (except his has jets and not rockets)  – just like Xenu’s minions he had this to say

“”I’ve been so happy with my (Scientology) experience in the last 40 years that I really don’t have anything to say that would shed light on (a documentary) so decidedly negative,” Travolta said”

(It’s a lot funnier if you read it in Travolta’s voice. )

That’s well and good.  It’s always useful to shut oneself off of painful (but truthful) information. We all know that fantasy and Science Fiction are more – comfortable.

The other star of Going Clear, Tom Cruse has not commented on the film and nobody expects him to .

One of the most of the more amusing chunks of fallout from “Going Clear is this parody music video from Saturday Night Live.

“We, we are the future
We’re like a rocket into the sea…
We used to be starfish
Enslaved by the seagulls
But now we are free”

 

I’m waiting for Freedom Magazine to do a treatment on mean old Saturday Night Live. We all know that the folks over at Freedom are far more funny anyway. (Damn seagulls!)

I’d sure hate to be working close to DM right  now. I hear he’s a bear when he wakes up in the morning!

Also, sign this petition. 

That’s no Moon!

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UFOlogists have proposed that the moon, believed to be a natural satellite of Earth, is, in fact, a huge spaceship, a gigantic UFO, parked in orbit around the Earth by an advanced technological civilization.

The proposal that the moon is an artificial satellite of Earth, specifically an alien spaceship, a massive UFO, parked in orbit around the Earth, is known as the Spaceship Moon Theory, Artificial Moon Theory, or Alien Moon Theory.

According to proponents of the Spaceship Moon Theory in the UFO community, there is evidence to suggest that the moon was built by an alien civilization with science and technology much more developed than ours.
Read more at http://www.inquisitr.com/1917650/our-moon-is-an-alien-ufo-spaceship-parked-in-orbit-around-earth-ufologists-claim/#pv7WGLSPVDhTie57.99

Project Blue Book!

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Well it’s out! The entire text of Project Blue Book is on the web (other than the part the Air Force wants to cover up says the naysayers.)  Naysayers will also comment that some of the witness names have been blacked out and that analysts of the reports attempt to explain away the “natural fact” that most of the reports are symptomatic of the ongoing invasion by nefarious alien beings bent upon RULING THE WORLD and stealing women. Also curing cancer and giving us free energy.

Well whatever they are, Project Blue Book is being hosted over at Black Vault and can be seen in its “PDF glory
[[[HERE]]]